Oh why me? Why delay my Quinny Zapp Xtra? Why mine???? The delivery van I have been so gleefully waiting for over the last few days has gone and put itself in my bad book bracket. It isn’t a place I’d want to be frankly; Rubbing shoulders with my wonky boob, the fox who keeps pooping in my garden and the whole of the nhs health service. Delivery will now be by Tuesday, what is the betting I get mine Wednesday?
Wonky boob? Since two small teeth put my right udder out of action I have had the issue of uneven breasts. One looks ample, the other like a soggy nappy. To improve the look, when clothed, I have been using a chicken fillet on my right side and you wouldn’t know to look at me that there was such an issue lurking underneath. All I can say is it is lucky I’m not dating. Do you remember the issue men had with the wonderbra? False advertising and such like? Well If a random guy was to see my naked bosom they’d be having me arrested for fraud.
Oh pants! Distracted by my mutterings for five minutes and Harrison has sneaked a yoghurt and is attempting to spoon it into Layla’s gaping mouth. Need I say more than 2 year old, seven month old, carpet and yoghurt?