I made my son’s birthday cake a few weeks back and it went almost perfectly. My only issue was the fact that I can’t have put enough sedative in the batter mix because he didn’t go quietly from the venue and was most distraught when the hired bouncy castle was disconnected and collapsed. Why am I telling you this old news? Well as you asked I will tell you. I have been asked to make several other birthday cakes since and am facing two in June alone, is this my new vocation in life? Sadly no.
I have a rather unpleasant job to go back to after the end of my maternity leave. I work for a dehydrated dingo dropping, and a company that reminds me of the uncomfortable feeling of being in the presence of a baboon with grotesquely over sized, sweaty balls. I’m not sure of the legalities of naming this company and my dingo dropping boss, so I wont mention their names. It is really painful for me to hold my tongue, I don’t tend to be the quiet, sit back and say nothing type, so S*** J**** should count themselves lucky that I can’t mention them.
My hubby has been home today which afforded me the privilege of a bath in relative peace. I say “relative” as my bathroom is not far enough away from my house to be served with the luxury of actual peace. I’m sure every parent who reads this will be completely understanding of the scenario; Mother wants a peaceful bath, children are noisier than ever. Go figure. The moment the taps were turned on Harrison was stripping off. I tried in vain to explain that “mummy is going to bath Layla, then mummy is going to have a bath. You will have a bath after your tea, sweetheart.” Still his nappy came off, followed closely by his socks and he held is arms up for me to take his top off. My bath alone did happen, just later than expected.
Got a cheque in the post this morning, from Full house magazine, apparently Harrison’s picture has featured in issue 19. Nice of them to tell me when we are currently on issue 22! Isn’t it just typical, I get some bragging rights and miss my chance completely! Oh well, in case anyone is remotely interested at such, a late date, Harrison was in issue 19 of Full house.
Disclaimer: No one at S*** J**** is a dehydrated dingo dropping and S*** J**** isn’t the equivalent of being in the vicinity of a baboon with sweaty balls. Not literally anyway.